No patience

 I got some problems with my target. Summer vacation is coming to an end. I still haven't reached my target: get 7. IELTS before 2024. I just got 5 now. I know why. I just did what I like: read stories, play the piano, watch movies, hang out with my friends. Although all of that activities make my summer wonderful, it doesn't help me reach my target.

 One weakness that humans have, I also have, is no patience. I've read a lot of research articles about it and found all sorts of ways to fix it. I'm still getting over it, but it's still too hard. You know, to get 7. IELTS, I need to practice everyday, even though it is painful. Ignore everything, just practice. I still can't beat myself. Everyday, I thought I have to turn off the internet and practice, I got many new words so I had to use my phone to search for them. Damm, you know what, I searched for 30 seconds, then my friend sent me a message. I answered her. Instinctively my hand opened Instagram. And then, no more after that. I used to wished I had someone to motivate me to develop myself and then I realized even if I had, I couldn't change because I'm, too weak.

 I feel like I've changed when I was in high school, but I didn't change any. Me in current is the same as me in the past: weak, cowardly, just do what I want and don't think about the future. I hate myself, because I always have to pamper mine. I try to get better everyday, but myself don't want, because too painful. I know that conquering my desires is extremely difficult, but if I can't win this time, maybe I won't win forever.

 REMEMBER: YOU ONLY HAVE 3 MONTH TO REACH YOUR TARGET!