Feeling alone in a strange country

 I feel like I was abandoned in Taiwan. I know exactly where this feeling forms. I don't have too many friends here. Or just don't have anyone with the same interests as me, anyone to confide in.

 The students in the same departments as me always go to the party together, hang out, practice drama together, and do group activities. I don't know how they became so close so quickly and where they got the information from the above session. Maybe they have their own group line chat, or they just tell each other when they have lunch together. Yeah, I usually have lunch alone cause I don't have friends here. I watched my high school friends' stories. All my best friends have their own lives when they go to college. They looked happy with each other. They have a life that I always dreamed of. I have my dream university, but my life is not good at all.

 I can't adapt to my feelings. I used to be a class monitor and club president. I was very active and participated in many activities in high school. Leading a festival, practicing plays together, dancing with my friends, having many parties. But since I came here, my life has become so boring without friends, just quietly staying in the dormitory. I am so jealous of the students here. Jealous when I see them participating in extracurricular activities to connect with people. I miss myself in the past.

 Sometimes, I don't know if I'm an introvert or an extrovert. I can't stand sitting still and avoiding society. Participating in social activities makes me stressed because I don't know how to communicate and start a conversation.

 I finally understood how the quiet students in my old class felt. They wanted to join the class activities, but they didn't have any friends. Maybe all their friends in their secondary school moved to another high school? Like all my high school friends moved to another university. No, it is only me who is moving to the new university, a new place. Only I chose to leave my country, where I was born and raised.

 I'm afraid I'll fade away in 4 years of university.

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