Super Cold

 The weather in Taiwan has changed from super hot to super cold now. Actually, it is about 20 degrees, but the strong wind (45km/h) makes me feel like 10 degrees. The wind blows cold to my bone. It also blows my mind. I have experienced this weather in Northern Vietnam but still cannot adapt. The cold weather reminds me of the past.

 The cold weather makes me wanna sleep. Whenever I tried to focus on studying, my feet got cold, and my brain froze. It begged me to go to bed. It said the bed has a blanket and makes me warm. Nah, I have to tell my brain that if I go to bed, I will fail all subjects, lose my scholarship, and have to go back to Vietnam. I have to tell my brain how hard I got there, how I prepared for it, and what my family expects from me.

 However, my brain controls my actions.

 By the way, I have finished my midterm test. I feel like I can't get 60 on all my tests. In high school, I rarely got more than 60; my teacher helped me to get 80 because I was the class monitor, and they knew I wanna study abroad. In Taiwan, the teachers don't know me and don't care about how hard I get here; they only care about whether I study or not. So, I have to study hard for myself, for my parents, and for how the world sees Vietnamese students. I only have one last chance on the final exam. Back in high school, people used to don't know who I was. I had to prove myself to everyone. And I did it. Now, I can do it too. In a new environment, this is my chance to use that skill again.

 Overcoming my own needs is extremely difficult. However, I believe I can do it. Don't worry about me. I will try my best. Pray for me. I will beat the final exam. I rarely set goals for myself because I had everything in high school. But this time, I will. I have my aim now. I have to pass all subjects to buy a Macbook.

 I often ask myself who I am, what I want, and whether I have what I want. I suddenly realized that I already had what I wanted, and I was still striving every day to achieve it.

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