Weak Dream: A view into yourself

  I realized I gradually slowed everything down. I can't find the motivation to go to the gym every day like usual. I can't find the inspiration to turn on my computer and study IELTS with passion.  Wake up early, spend 30 minutes just for nothing (I just sit and think what I want to do). Go to the gym at 5 o'clock on Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday just because I pay money to hire a personal training. Programming, just because my club force my to do.   I no longer voluntarily do everything related to self-training. I just do because I am forced to do.  The only thing that can force me to study now is a vague belief in the future.  I didn't spend my time studying math and physics after I completed the 10-minute math test at school.  I can't force myself to learn things I like when I'm not motivated. I wish someone would force me to study.  Today, when I opened the note, to find where I am now, I realized I was so far behind. It's only been 2 weeks since th...

 I let overconfidence get the best of me. The IT test seemed too straightforward for my skill level. But I did it worst.  I was the quickest to complete the test in my class. Just because I was too confident, I through I could easy solve it so I didn't test the program after I finished. I didn't check again my test.  Actually, this is not the first time. It's become a habit of mine, and I struggle to overcome it.  Haha, I have reminded myself many times that I have to check the test after I finish it, but in this important test I didn't do so, just because I was too confident. This will likely be a lesson I'll carry with me throughout my life.  Hopefully I'm still lucky enough to not fail.

 Study, extracurricular activities, club, relationship, family, etc. Too many things I need to worry about.  It's the season of joy and togetherness, which means, of course, I have approximately 1000 unfinished items on my to-do list. The list feels endless--and paralyzing. I'm having trouble in balancing theme, because everything are important to me.  I know to reach my goal, I have to study all day. But I can't. I spent all this afternoon just for go to CyberClass trips, to know what security was it, and spent all my evening just for my club I founded: CSC because the post on the page had flopped. And when I through I have done everything and I would study now, my friend text me, so I have to reply him. 2 more hour just for chatting until the day was over. Today, I have done nothing.  I understand that in order to achieve my goal, I need to dedicate my entire day to studying. But I don't have time to study because of my own in discipline. The above things are very ...