Cold relationship

 Now, I understand what is unrequited love mean. Now, I understand the feeling of love someone, the most painful feeling, but people addicted it.

 Falling in love can feel exciting, even exhilarating. Always think of that person 24/7. Spend all of the day just for look at her photos, re-read old messages she sent to me. I want to talk with her, I want to listen to her voice. But I don't know how I can have her. Always type message and then delete, because afraid texting too much will bother her. All the messages I sent to her were carefully filtered. Aww got damm. She didn't reply me. She just reaction. This make my heart broke.

 She is in the next class to mine. Yet, I am confined to gazing at her from a distance, my heart aching with unspoken longing.  It hurts. It hurts a lot. It feels as if someone stabbed you in the chest and threw out your heart, leaving it out to rot. Every time after school, I deliberately stay a little longer in class, so I can pretend to meet her (or I won't). We only talk for a while, but I love that time, because I can stand with her.

 Over time, these feelings may change to something more mellow or calm. I still love her. But the frequency I think of her gradually decreases. I realized that I miss many thing when all of the time, I only think about her. I realized next week I have many test, but I didn't review any lesson. I realized all the minutes I stared at her Instagram, I missed all my work.

 I understand that love is just one aspect of life, not its entirety. In order to be with her, I can't spend every moment consumed by thoughts of her, I need to take action. It's essential to transform myself starting now, becoming the best version of myself that she truly deserves.

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