What am I studying for?

 I don't understand. I don't understand why I studied all day, all night, even skipping the gym and hanging out, but my score didn't increase. I study 12/24 hours a day. Hey teachers, do you want me to study 24/24 hours? I will become crazy!!!

 This morning, I completed the 15-minute Physics and Math tests. Despite having practiced multiple times, I struggled to recall the how to answer all questions. I have to wait until next week to receive my Physics score, but I'm anticipating it will be quite low. My Math teacher graded the papers right away, and I was disappointed of myself when I found my scored only 5.5 out of 10 (10 out of 22). My friends comforted me that studying is a process, it cannot be achieved in one stage and you can get better grades.

 But they don't know I want to study abroad (specifically in Australia). It was my goal. To achieve it, I have to get a GPA higher than 9.5/10 in the whole year. But when I see my score today, I know it will be impossible. Aww, why I was so incompetent? I want to be the perfect person myself, but why it was too hard? 

 I don't know. I don't know what am I studying for. Just study and study, just study because everyone said it will be for my future. I don't know. I don't want to study. I'm so tired. Life is short, so why do I have to make myself try hard when I could enjoy it?

 They said all the effort I put in now would be wrapped up and paid back to me in the future, but I haven't seen the results after studying day and night? Awwww, I hate life. 

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