Weak Dream: A view into yourself

 Today, my university is holding an event. They call it sports day. My class is required to dance on the sports day to welcome the deputy. After the dance, we are free. If anyone signs up for the competition, they will attend it. If I were in high school, I would sign up immediately, without thinking. But this is the university, not my high school, not my old friends with the same language. They talked in a different language. I was too shy to join, because I'm not good in their language.  I regret about it now. It was a chance for me to make new friends and practice my second language. While everyone was participating in the competition, I just stood and watched, thinking about my choice. I think I made a new wrong decision. Even though I try never to make a bad choice again, I probably can never do that. I can only minimize the number of times. Now that I look back on my choices, I still regret them and wish to return in time. Actually, if I could go back in time, there are many

 The weather in Taiwan has changed from super hot to super cold now. Actually, it is about 20 degrees, but the strong wind (45km/h) makes me feel like 10 degrees. The wind blows cold to my bone. It also blows my mind. I have experienced this weather in Northern Vietnam but still cannot adapt. The cold weather reminds me of the past.  The cold weather makes me wanna sleep. Whenever I tried to focus on studying, my feet got cold, and my brain froze. It begged me to go to bed. It said the bed has a blanket and makes me warm. Nah, I have to tell my brain that if I go to bed, I will fail all subjects, lose my scholarship, and have to go back to Vietnam. I have to tell my brain how hard I got there, how I prepared for it, and what my family expects from me.  However, my brain controls my actions.  By the way, I have finished my midterm test. I feel like I can't get 60 on all my tests. In high school, I rarely got more than 60; my teacher helped me to get 80 because I was the class monito

 I plan to learn physics and solve programming problems this weekend. But I all played Plant and Zombies. I don’t know why.  It started when I surfed Youtube and found a fucking pvz video. It is the mod version of Pvz (Fusion mode by China Wizard). Basically, it has new plants, and the gameplay is the same. However, it is more difficult and requires more brain power. This excites me.  My brain said that I had to learn Physics and programming because of the upcoming test. But my heart said to play it. I listen to my heart. I play Pvz for three days. Last night, I didn’t sleep, play Pvz from 8pm to 5am the next day. My eyes were really sore, so I went out for a walk. I missed my EyeCare software, but it was annoying when I played games so I turned it off. Yes, it was the first time I was outside my dorm, in the campus at 3am. But after return, I tried open youtube to find the physics video, but I clicked on a Pvz video. My heart controlled me. It force me continued playing until 5am.  If

 I feel like I was abandoned in Taiwan. I know exactly where this feeling forms. I don't have too many friends here. Or just don't have anyone with the same interests as me, anyone to confide in. Some of my high school friends texted me to ask if I was doing well, and I felt somewhat comforted. However, they remind me of my old life.  The students in my departments always have party together, hang out, practice drama together, and do group activities. I don't know how they became so close so quickly and where they got the information from the above session. Maybe they have their own group line chat, or they just tell each other when they have lunch together. Yeah, I usually have lunch alone cause I don't have friends here. I watched my high school friends' stories. All my best friends have their own lives when they go to college. They looked happy with each other. They have a life that I always dreamed of. I have my dream university, but my life is not good at all.

 When I heard the announcement, "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Taipei. We've just landed at Taoyuan International Airport, where the local time is fifteen twenty-five in the afternoon.", I realized it would be a long time before I could see my family again.  I've been to Taiwan for a month. I stay in Hsinchu. I'm a student abroad studying computer science at National Yang-Ming Chiao Tung University on a scholarship. I have achieved my dream.  My journey to apply for study abroad was urgent and arduous because I initially had no intention of studying in Taiwan. The first day I arrived in Taiwan was September 6th, late for a week. I missed orientation day and the first class.  I got sick in the first week due to the weather change. I realized no one cared about me. I have to google for my medicine. I miss my mom. I didn't know how much my mother cared for me until I was away from home. I am also not familiar with Taiwanese food. It took me

 I got my first job: Teaching at Mihu Art. I got my salary too. I'm going to intern in FPT Software.  I will take a gap year cause I want to study abroad. Maybe next year?? I have one year left to graduate the Classical Piano major at Hanoi College of Art. I will research and work this year. Prepare for the language test again for my next application to the university. Nah, maybe this year will be worth it. I think so?? Maybe I won't waste my time. Who knows what the future holds??  I used to think I have to study at the Hanoi College of Art this year. However, I was just informed by NYCU that the Taiwan Ministry of Education changed its policy for international students in Vietnam now, and I was accepted. What could be luckier than being so close? I almost registered to study at Hanoi College of Art and my intern job. Because I thought I wouldn't be accepted into the university, I went to work. Now I have a new skill: teaching. It may help me in the future when I hungry. I