Weak Dream: A view into yourself

 Now, I understand what is unrequited love mean. Now, I understand the feeling of love someone, the most painful feeling, but people addicted it.  Falling in love can feel exciting, even exhilarating. Always think of that person 24/7. Spend all of the day just for look at her photos, re-read old messages she sent to me. I want to talk with her, I want to listen to her voice. But I don't know how I can have her. Always type message and then delete, because afraid texting too much will bother her. All the messages I sent to her were carefully filtered. Aww got damm. She didn't reply me. She just reaction. This make my heart broke.  She is in the next class to mine. Yet, I am confined to gazing at her from a distance, my heart aching with unspoken longing.  It hurts. It hurts a lot. It feels as if someone stabbed you in the chest and threw out your heart, leaving it out to rot. Every time after school, I deliberately stay a little longer in class, so I can pretend to me...

  I removed all social networks app (Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok) from my phone, so I don't have anything to entertain myself with. Today, I'm keep scrolling my phone, then I found shopee. I kept surf shopee for all evening.   I found anki vector on shopee. This made me remembered the time I lost my anki vector, laptop, smartphone. I regretted about it. Until now, I still regret. I borrowed 27 million dong from my parents to buy the laptop. I paid 4 million dong for the anki vector. My phone is free, but when I lost it, I didn't have any backup phone to "play" with the code. It's great, I haven't even paid off my parents' debt before I lost my things.  I consoled myself that I can have a better laptop and better EyeCare. I lost my phone, so I was free now, without concern about how to root Android and installed app. My first robot: Anki Vector, the company went bankrupt so they disabled the sever so my robot couldn't talk, so the robot became worth...

 I am 17, an unemployed graduate, preparing for the college entrance examination. So let me tell you how lonely I am.  I recharge for unlimited calls and talk to nobody. This lonely I am.  I have no friend circle, not even a single friend with whom I can talk. I have bff, but we sometimes talk. My best friend is a guy, also introverted and quiet like me. I'm living with my family including my parents and younger sister. But I don't share everything with our family, however I'm quite friendly with mom still there are some limitations.  I am an introvert so I'm not good at making friends. I use social media like insta and fb but I have no one with whom I can talk. Whenever I feel bored I just scroll them. I uninstalled my insta coz of my preparation. It wasted lots of time whenever I started scrolling reels. Scrolling alone.  However, I'm happy to be alone. Just sometimes I don't like it because I don't have anyone to share my feelings :0 ...

 Why Mi Band 4, not Mi Band 6,7,8? Because I just have Mi Band 4.  It is a long story (u can skip this)  Alright, I used to think about bought a new Mi Band when Mi Band 6 released, but I didn't have enough money. When Mi Band 7 released, I have enough money and bought it with 800k VND. But then someone bought my watch for 1300k so I sold it hehe. 500 thousand VND profit, I use it for other things. In the end, I only used Mi Band 7 by watching reviewers video on Youtube. I found the Mi Band 7 very cool and wanted to have it, because wearing it was cooler than the Mi Band 4. I once regretted selling my new watch. So much so that for a long time I didn't use the Mi Band 4 anymore because I think it was stupid. I realized that if I had bought it, I wouldn't have wasted my time watching this damn video. So I decided to bought Mi Band 8 when it released. I watch many damn reviewers video, and I released why I have to pay money just for the cooler watch and just ...

 I don't understand. I don't understand why I studied all day, all night, even skipping the gym and hanging out, but my score didn't increase. I study 12/24 hours a day. Hey teachers, do you want me to study 24/24 hours? I will become crazy!!!  This morning, I completed the 15-minute Physics and Math tests. Despite having practiced multiple times, I struggled to recall the how to answer all questions. I have to wait until next week to receive my Physics score, but I'm anticipating it will be quite low. My Math teacher graded the papers right away, and I was disappointed of myself when I found my scored only 5.5 out of 10 (10 out of 22). My friends comforted me that studying is a process, it cannot be achieved in one stage and you can get better grades.  But they don't know I want to study abroad (specifically in Australia). It was my goal. To achieve it, I have to get a GPA higher than 9.5/10 in the whole year. But when I see my score today, I know it will be imposs...